I've felt lucky in some respects over the last year. Plenty of people have done so much to ease us through. Looking after the kids so I can get on with things has helped.
Summer holidays are the worst. Six hot weeks. Well. Sometimes hot.
Took the kids over to stay for a week with Kate's parents. They're always desperate to help, but live a distance away. Long story short - Tuesday evening I hear from them. Sad little voices on the phone, they'd been rear-ended on the motorway by a lorry. Car's a write off, but they're OK. Bruised, battered, but OK. Chatted a while, they miss me. Wondered what the hell to do. Rush over? Why? What could that fix? They needed a hug, but they had their grandparents to do that. Not quite dad, but. I needed a hug too.
Call it delayed shock. Or whatever. That sudden sinking feeling coming over me now as I plan to go and pick them up after there week away. I nearly lost the rest of my family. A split second here or there. It's all it would have taken.
I am so desperate to see them again. Ticking clock.
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