When nothing's better

After the high of last weekend it's to be expected. I enjoy a storm, but the rainy weather has brought in a low front for me.

And I'm feeling - nothing? But, in many respects? Not such a bad thing. Detached me. Looking down as an outside observer. Sometimes it's best to have nothing going on.

Recently found a route map for grief. All written down in Helvetica Bold. The first few numb months. Anger at "someone" for being left alone. Guilt for finding something to smile about. Unnatural "I can do anything" highs, followed by crashes of worthlessness. Weight loss. Sleepless nights. Wanting to feel passion again. Distress crashing back over like it was only yesterday, as the first year end arrives. Even the late night, detailed, end it all plans. Ploughing straight on at every bend. Can't, thought, kids, stop.

All normal. Very normal indeed. Seems I've never been this normal.

So, to have a head full of nothing. A blank canvas for those that care to make their mark. Not such a bad thing.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.