Sun's out. Blue sky up.

Sun's out. Blue sky up.
Last day of a full week off. Wonderful last weekend drive out with friends. Fun, fun, holiday to Cornwall.

Went to a local steam fair today. Woolpit. Haven't been in years - no better, or worse. To be honest we did it for the drive. Rolling the old Sedan full of kids along the back roads, followed by Mark in his speedster. Lovely. But the seat beside me - empty.

So. Why am I down?

Guess reality is biting. Paperwork to do, and back to work tomorrow. Dreading the two deskfuls to catch up on.

But also. There's something else. All those years of getting on and ignoring the "banished for how long?" cancer by day, and lying awake, listening for life, by night. 11 months on - it's not getting any easier.

Didn't figure on it being harder though.

Kids have been catching up on Doctor Who today. If the blue box landed though, and I've thought about it, no matter how hard, I couldn't take the trip back. There's nothing I could do or say that would change the reality of what happened. Just time re-visited.

Cruel time - give me back the surefooted feeling of certainty in life.